Transparency has become my undoing.

When the Holy Spirit pierced my most inner places with His truth that transforms–transparency became my new normal. Embracing a transparent life started me down a journey of my undoing.

Undoing the lies of condemnation, the enemy whispers in the darkest of nights.

Undoing the lies of negative self-narratives.

Undoing the lies of impossible expectations.

and in this undoing—God became my All in all.

I pray today’s episode on transparency begins your undoing.

Linda

Linda Goldfarb: 0:07

Welcome to Staying Real About Faith and Family. If you’re looking for a community where you can get real without resistance, you’re in the right place. I’m Linda Goldfarb. And each week I offer insight with enthusiasm to help you manage life and relational issues from a biblical viewpoint with practical applications. As a board certified Christian life coach and personality thought leader, I’ve influenced 1000s of individuals over the last 20 years to make changes in their lives with positive results. Staying Real, is my way of staying connected in a safe community. And I’m so glad that you’re here with me. Let’s go to Father. Father God, thank You for this day, thank You for this opportunity for us to be able to come together to seek you out to know that we’re safe to be able to share a thought, a question, a discovery, a pondering that will help us to understand you have everything under control. When the world seems to be in chaos, God there is nothing that surprises you. There’s nothing around the corner that you do not already have enlightenment to Father God, we just thank you for this time that we have together, we praise you and we love you. In Jesus name, amen, and amen. And please, my friends, if you will, welcome my good friend, Heather Greer to the show. Heather, how’s it going today?

Heather Greer: 1:52

Well, I’m feeling pretty good about the day and I kind of like in your prayer, you talked about chaos, because yesterday morning, very early, I woke up to a really heavy rainstorm. And as tedious as rain can be, after many days, when it’s been hot, and dry, and dusty, as long as it has been, I find it really uplifting to hear the sound that’s going to wash all that away for a while. And it leaves me feeling peaceful and refreshed and ready for the day. So that’s kind of where I am today and God washed away all that chaos. And we’re getting ready to have a good day.

Linda Goldfarb: 2:30

Oh, that’s so good. I am waiting for the rain to hit here. Sam as he left out this morning, and he said, you know, it smells like rain, it looks like rain. We’re praying for some rain, because I’d like to have some of that chaos just kind of blown away a little bit, or at least you know, rinse down somewhere where I can walk out and not feel so covered with the dust of the world and life and just being bogged down. So that’s a that’s a good word for us today, Heather, is to realize that God takes care of so much he takes care of it in his creation. He takes care of it in us. And that’s what we need to be standing on firmly, is knowing that God is real. That’s why we have the program stayin real. You know, Heather, I can’t hide from God. Have you ever thought about that? Have you ever thought, Oh, well, I’ll do this and no one is going to know. I mean, I know in my past, I used to think, Oh, well, if I take that cookie out of that cookie jar, my mom will never know because she made a lot of cookies, right? And as I grew, I realized oh, but God knows. What??? So, He knew when He knew the deceit in my mind, He knew what I was thinking, I’ll just go in and reach in and be very, you know, covert, no one will ever know there won’t be a crumb to find me out. And yet, God is in every moment of my life, He is present. And with him being present, you know whether I have to think about when I’m walking, when I’m entering a room when I’m turning on a television, when I’m looking in whatever I’m or looking at whatever I’m looking at. The Holy Spirit is with me everywhere I go. And today we’re going to talk about how the things that we do in life. We need to know we’re not hidden in the dark. I’d like to let our listeners know a little bit about… folks. It’s the first time this is the first time that you’ve been listening in to Staying Real About Faith and Family. And every week Heather and I come together, we kind of, you know, talk back and forth over a particular issue that we’re going to be covering. I give my input, I always have something to say. And Heather just kind of helps to balance things out here. I’m very blessed to have her with us. So, you’re invited, and Heather will give you information throughout the program, you’re invited to participate. Go to our website, give us some comments, let us know what you think about the episode, Heather will tell you how to do all of that as well. And just knowing that the reason that we’re here is to help you walk through life, really embracing the realness of God, and knowing that when we stay real about our faith, and our family, it impacts every aspect of our life. So you’re in a community. I’m glad that you’re here with us. And I’m going to toss it over to Heather, so that she can help you understand a little bit of what we’re going to be looking at today.

Heather Greer: 6:08

Well, it’s great that we have staying real because in being real, it brings up today’s subject. I’ve heard you say many times transparency transforms. But what is transparency? And how does it change the way we treat others? That’s the question for today.

Linda Goldfarb: 6:27

All right, looking at that transparency word, I will tell you, Heather, the number of times when my husband Sam and I, we founded Parenting Awesome Kids, and taught parenting, taught awesome parents for five years, and met with them every single week. And when I would get up to introduce who we are, I’d say I’m Linda, and this my husband, Sam, and we’re the Transparent-Farbs, and, Sam would almost moan in the back of the room. Ha, ha,ha Here we go and get oh, what’s she going to say? Now? What’s she going to let the world know, right. And what I discovered over time, Heather is the more transparent I was with the parents who were in the class. The more that I shared about my family, the more that I shared about the difficulties and the the issues and the real life, the more we connected. And also, when I would be transparent. The enemy no longer had that foothold in that area of my life. And I’m going to talk about that. I guess for a little bit today. When you had asked, you know, what is transparency? Basically, transparency is letting go of falsehood. And falsehood is a hovering. It can be an oppressive thought. It can be an anxiety that just hovers over us. Have you ever seen any of the commercials, Heather and they talk about depression, and they talk about, you know, just the anxiety that someone is walking around with? And in it, there’s this dark cloud, and they utilize a visual cloud that is just over the top of the person who’s really struggling? Have you ever seen any of those commercials?

Heather Greer: 8:35

Oh, yes. All the time.

Linda Goldfarb: 8:37

Yeah. And so I’m visualizing this falsehood, as being this dark cloud that tries to prevent God’s truth from raining down on us. What that cloud does…

Heather Greer: 8:52

Oh, I like that.

Linda Goldfarb: 8:53

Thank you, the cloud, right? That was really good. He actually just gave that. So yay, thank you, Jesus. Okay, so that cloud will darken our circumstance. The cloud will make us believe a storm is coming that we won’t be able to deal with. This cloud of falsehood is dispensed by words of others. We see it in the media. We hear it when we’re, you know, listening to programmings or watching television. There’s this falsehood that suppresses us and weighs heavy on us. Yet when we choose to become transparent with that heaviness, there’s so much that is released. There is a peace that begins to take the place of that dark cloud. And to me it’s like the rays of sun shining through, as the morning dawns, and you have a little bit of that light cloud that’s up in the sky, and then you see the rays of sunlight coming through. And that’s what I liken it to when we become transparent. First we become transparent with ourselves, then that transparency, will transform how we look at other people, how we present ourselves in public, how we offer ourselves for service, because we really just start getting real. And the first go to in order to accomplish this getting real, this ability to be transparent with ourselves and those around us, is looking at biblical truth. That should be our go to. If we go to Scripture, if we go to reading the word, it will help us to combat the lies of the enemy, it’s going to help us to look at our past, as being in the past. What I call this, as we discover… for me, it’s recognizing my little girl has experienced what she’s experienced in the past. And it’s real, but it’s in the past, it’s not my present today, it does not define who I am today. And for gentlemen, it would be your little boy, you recognize your little boy, and yes, this is, this is something that happened to him. But that is not today. We’re living in the day of our resurrection life, the day of our covering of Jesus Christ. And in that we become more than our past, we are able to combat the lies of the enemy, because we’re going to recognize truth over the counterfeit. And then we also, with biblical truth, we also are able to let go of our fears. And I don’t know about you, Heather, but I tell you what, if, if I don’t claim or call out my fear, and say, “You know what, I know this is happening, this is what my mind is thinking about.” If I don’t say that, it just mulls around in there and it gets bigger and bigger, and it just starts pulling in other fear buddies, and they all start having a party. And it’s really kind of a somber party, there’s not any celebration, but it can really kind of expand that dark cloud that’s going over the top of my head. And if I speak it out, if I recognize it for what it is, if I recognize the lies of the enemy, because he has a… the enemy has a specific voice.

Heather Greer: 13:17

Yes.

Linda Goldfarb: 13:17

We’ll probably talk about that in one of our episodes, differentiating between the voices of influence in our lives, because that’s huge. But the enemy has a different voice. My little girl from my past has a different voice. And my fears play on all of those. But Scripture can set us free from that. Listeners, go out and go ahead and just search, “fear” in the Bible, go to your Bible resource, go to Biblegateway.com, go to if you have a YouVersion app. I really enjoy YouVersion and I go in there and I can put in a question or a word, and it will give me Scriptures that match. And we know that we are not created with a spirit of fear. That’s one of the biblical truths that we have. We know that we’re not to worry about today, because that’s Scripture. So if we will research words in Scripture, and then put it up against the lies of the enemy, the whispers of my past, what my little girl or your little girl, Heather, or someone’s little boy is telling them, “remember this happened before so it’s probably going to happen again.” And then all of that culminating with our fears. All I want to do is take Scripture, put it up against it and say no, that’s not what my father says. It is not and that is a great start to letting go of falsehoods. Do you have any thoughts on that?

Heather Greer: 15:07

I just love that image, that idea of holding on to the truths over the counterfeit. You know, so often it’s easy to just hang on to that because it feels so real. And it’s absolutely not truth.

Linda Goldfarb: 15:25

That’s right. That’s right. And when we talk truth, as well, folks, here’s the here’s the thing, we have the capital T truth, and that is Jesus Christ. Jesus is the Truth. Biblical truth is what Scripture gives us, that says, this is who God is, this is who we are in relationship with God. And this is God, the Father, God, the Son, God, the Holy Spirit… we will probably cover that too, we’ll probably cover the different dynamics of God, who God is how the Trinity plays out in our life, that will probably come as an episode as well. I tell you, there’s so much richness in the Bible, that if we use it as our go to this biblical truth as our go to, there is nothing that can hold us back from walking out the life that God designed, and desires for us. So Heather, here’s, here’s the next thing. I like to address When we’re letting go of falsehood, we tie into biblical verbal releases. truth. But then we also need to experience some verbal releases. And when I verbally recognize something that’s false, recognize something as you said, that’s counterfeit. And I say, Wait a minute. That’s not truth. That’s not what God says, I started saying that out loud. Heather, I started saying, wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute, God, I know you didn’t say that. That’s not your voice. I know that this is the enemy. And I will say, and he has no footing in my home, I go, “Satan, you have no place in my home. Because the Holy Spirit is in me. So I know He resides in me. And there is a protection that is there. But this is His house. My body is His place of residence. So enemy, you have no place here.” And I’ve also done that in my workplace, Heather. I’ve gone to speak, and one of the things I love to do is I love to get on location early. I was at the Carolina Christian Writers Conference, and I knew I was going to be giving a talk in the main auditorium. And I went into the main auditorium and walked through and touched every seat in the auditorium. And as I walked through, I said, Father, this is your child who’s going to be sitting here. Give them what they need, not just for the time that I’m here, but Lord for the entirety. Every time someone sits in this chair, open up to them, Your will, Your way, and Your timing. Help them to receive what it is that You want them to receive. And the enemy has no place here. He has no footing here. Do you ever get distracted when you sit down and you want to open up God’s word? And you want to say okay, now I’m going to sit down and I’m going to learn from God? Do you ever get distracted? Heather? Or are you totally opposite from me? And that… that really is the enemy trying to come in to this

Heather Greer: 19:07

Oh, no, no, no, I fight distraction all the time. I see things that need done I pick up my phone when I should leave it to the side I you know, yes, definitely distracted. time that we have set apart to spend with God and the enemy wants to disturb us.

Linda Goldfarb: 19:30

He wants to be, you know, the saltine crackers on the sheets. He wants to be the sand in our sandals. He wants to just add that aggravation so our eyes are turned away from God. We have a thought that comes in that’s thinking about dinner, all the things that you were mentioning, but what I have to do is I have to release that and I release it verbally. “Father, thank You for this time that I’m here with You. This is Your time. Lord, give to me what You desire for me to hear, allow my ears to not take in anything that’s going to disturb my time. Allow me, Father God, to concentrate on You. Even in the closing of my eyes, Lord, I don’t want to disconnect from where You have me right now. Help me to be right here, with You, present… for what You’re going to give me.” I speak it out, Heather.

Heather Greer: 20:38

So you’re not, it’s not like a silent prayer in your head that you’re trying to wrangle, you’re literally speaking it out loud?

Linda Goldfarb: 20:47

Out loud. Now, I will tell you, no one else is up. (laughter) But I’m doing this in the morning. That is a bonus of being able to get up at like 5am in the morning. And Sam is still asleep. So my dogs are there. And they just kind of look at me and go that mom and that’s what she’s doing. I know, I know, when we pray. I may have a silent prayer. And my Daddy time, you know, and I’m connecting with Him. And that’s ongoing. But this rebuking… this time of acknowledging where I am. “I am in this place, and this place is reserved for my Father and I. This is our time together.” I also verbalize when I get ready to rest, because I’m a Mobilizer. So rest to me is actually starting on another project, yet, if I actually need to sleep… If I need to sleep, I will say, “Father God, this is Your time, allow my mind to go where You need it to go while I am resting this evening. Thank You, Lord. Thank You, Lord.” And then I do go into a quiet moment. I like to say that I’m mindful of what God sounds like in my head, in my heart, in my being. And if anything comes in, as I’m about to go to sleep, there are times Heather, I’m going to get up, walk into the other room, I pour myself a glass of water, I sip on that water. And as I’m sipping on the water, I go, “Father, you are the water of life.” I’m sipping this water so that I can have sweet sleep tonight. And I’m reminding myself that God is my Water, He is my life line. And I ask Him to remove thoughts that are not of Him. So I can have a peaceful rest. Now, there are some things that I like to do to set up my day for peace. And I don’t do anything that ignites my brain into heavy thought for at least 30 to 45 minutes before I want to go to sleep. Because if I do that, goodness, I mean, I’ll get on a rabbit trail, and I’ll chase it. (laughter) So, so I don’t want to do that. I want to be able to just allow my body to relax, to calm down, to reflect on who God is. And then go into my evening resting time with that. I know it’s not easy for everybody. And I also know that God will provide a way for us. And, okay, this is getting real. I’m going to be real here. And sometimes folks, there’s going to be some of you that are listening that you’re like going, Okay, well, I’m dealing with some issues, and I’ve been prescribed a certain medication to help me sleep or to help with my feelings of sadness, feelings of loneliness. And that’s okay. That’s okay. Going from here, I guess I’d round it up with what influences my day in order for me to be transparent, and how that changes the way I treat others. I’m really, really big on personality knowledge. And the reason that I am is I studied personalities for many, many years. And it absolutely changed my relationships, my relationship with my husband, my relationship with myself, my relationship with my family members, relationship with strangers, everything. See, God created us for relationship. A relationship with Him, first and foremost. And understanding how God designed me, has helped me in actually becoming even more intimate with God, more understanding with my family, more understanding about myself, and how I treat other people. My Bible, I have a particular reading structure with that. 1) What is the truth that I’m reading? 2) How does that apply to the world? 3) How is it applicable to me? 4) How can I use it in this season of my life? I go through that, as I’m looking at the Scripture I’m reading. And then with my personality knowledge, [my friend, good friend, Linda Gildan, and I we’ve written the LINKED® personality quick guides] it literally has transformed lives in my Parenting Awesome Kids class. When people get how they are designed by God, it really does transform them, then they go, “Oh, that’s why I react the way that I do. That’s why this person drives me crazy. That’s why I may say this, and then afterwards say, why did I even tell that person that?” Well, we’re gonna find out as we go deeper into the episodes. Heather, I know that God’s going to bring out the personalities and how that can help us to understand His design for our lives and how we treat others as well. If we are transparent, if I get real about myself, if I’m willing to share with our listeners, what has occurred in my life, and remove or let go of those falsehoods. I believe as we go through this season of Staying Real About Faith and Family, that those who have become part of our community, part of our staying real community, they will start understanding the importance of transparency. The enemy can’t use what we speak out and claim under the covering of God. We are not bound to deceit, we are actually released from it. And discovering how God designs designed us for His will, His glory… opens up doors that no man can close. And when we live in that transparency, everyone will notice. And though everyone will notice doesn’t mean that we have to tell everyone what’s going on in our life. That’s not what I’m saying.

Heather Greer: 28:42

That’s a relief! (laughter)

Linda Goldfarb: 28:43

(laughter) Heather, you’re probably getting nervous. “Wait a minute, what’s she gonna tell me?” “What?” No, no, that’s not at all what it means. What it means is (laughter) becoming transparent first with understanding who I am, how God designed me to be, what His Word tells me, knowing that that’s truth, being transparent and knowing that I can speak out what God has spoken into me. And I don’t have to be afraid of rebuke from it. Being transparent in order to know that my past is my past. The enemy is real. My fears are what they are, but God can help to release them. Yeah, there’s so much with it. This transparency thread is going to be throughout the Staying Real conversations that we have here. And yeah, I’m excited about what God is going to be doing in and through our community. So that’s… that’s where I stand with this.

Heather Greer: 29:49

And we would love for everybody in this community to join in the conversation with us. It really does work best when we can be that community for each other. So, you can do that by visiting StayingRealwithLinda.com where you can submit a question, leave a comment about today’s episode. Don’t forget to subscribe to the podcast, take a moment to rate the podcast and mention your favorite episodes. And don’t forget to share when you find something in here, that’s of meaning to you. Be sure and share it with your friends, let’s grow this community let’s work together to build each other up in staying real about our faith.

Linda Goldfarb: 30:32

Hmm. I like that because we’re staying real about our faith. And we’re also creating a new family as well, a community. And that’s amazing. God is so good. So folks, as you head out into your day, I’d like you to consider this, what has been holding you back, where if you released it in your mind, in your, your internal voice, saying, “Father, this… this is what I’ve been holding on to. And it’s strangling me. It’s just really holding me back from experiencing everything that You have set in place for me to be living out my life. So Lord, I want to… I want to get real, and I want to stay real with You. And I release this to You. I want to release this burden of ___________________. (background music plays) And then… just watch as Father exposes the falsehoods and reveals to you through His Word, maybe through the words of those in your smaller inner community. Words from healthy, God fearing, Jesus loving, Holy Spirit, listening to individuals who don’t have an agenda, other than to come alongside you in what is going on in your life, to be able to expose and let go of those falsehoods. That’s huge. That’s huge. I’d love to hear… I’d love to hear from you and what you’re letting go of because when we can get transparent, it does transform our lives and the lives of those around us. I love it. I love God at work. I really do. May Yahweh bless you and keep you in all you do. Until next time. This is Linda Goldfarb Staying real about faith and family.